What a world we live in! With a simple saliva sample and some patience, secrets from the past come out and are there for us to examine.
In an article that I wrote in the past, I speak of being a 3rd Generation Bastard. That phrase is offensive to some, but that is not the intent.
I did not know who my biological father was until I had taken a DNA test. Even then, it was not the first or second test that I took, but the 3rd one that would put me on the correct path.
Those tests did illustrate a lot of facts for me and pushed my genealogical research years and decades ahead of where I had been to that point.
If I had to do it all again, I would do it the exact same way that I did it before, because having those time gaps between each test allowed me to process the information, gather more information and make informed decisions that were worthwhile.
One of the best decisions that I made was to get tested. I cannot emphasize that enough.
The first test that I took was with Family Tree DNA. They had a sale going and I got the test. It was a great deal. In recognition of today being DNA Day, they have a sale going again! Click this link to go to their sale price. I don't get a commission, but it IS a great deal. For $49.00, you get the Family Finder test, which will knock down brick walls and get a great start on your DNA genealogy!
There is no monthly, annual or semi-annual subscription, either. A great deal!
The next test that I took was Ancestry. They are the biggest consumer DNA test provider.
Through today, they are offering $69.00 testing. Their service requires a subscription, which is billed at different intervals. If you are interested in getting a test from them while their sale is going on, this is an excellent time to do it. Click here to get to their page.
My third test was through 23 and Me. Now this one, I DO get a commission if you order AND you get a discount. There is no subscription involved, either. Once you click here to get the test, you can always access your information.
I have not yet tested with My Heritage, but they have affordable testing at only $59.00 for the DNA Day celebrations, they are a test I will be taking in the very near future. Click here to order your test kit, too. (No commission, I think that you should test in as many places as you can!)
Subscribe to my newsletter, I won't spam you or sell you out!
Share below in the comments if you have taken a DNA test or if you are planning to! I want to hear what you have to say! Happy DNA day!
Even if you want to be famous, no one really wants to be infamous. Especially for nonsense that we laugh about and create memes about today.
I now present the case of Phyllis Joyce Stalnaker.
13 October, 1925
Phyllis was born to Archie and Mildred Stalnaker.
May 1930 Census
The Stalnaker's were a young married couple from Nebraska. They were the parents to two small children in the 1930 census. They lived in Fullerton, Nance County, Nebraska. One thing that I can tell you about Nebraska from the time I have been in and out of the state: They slaughter a lot of beef and pork. Probably chickens as well, but I don't know about that one, personally.
The Stalnaker's were married a little over a year before Phyllis arrived. Phyllis' father, Archie or possibly Archibald LaVern Stalnaker set his family up in a rental home that was valued at $1500.00. He worked somewhere nearby as a butcher in a meat market. I am sure that with the Great Depression going on, they were all grateful for Mr. Stalnaker having a job that literally put food on the table.
Mrs. Mildred Clara Crawford Stalnaker was not working during the 1930 census. She had 2 small children underfoot. Phyllis was 4 and 1/2, her brother, Gordon Rex was about 3 1/2, born 16 February, 1927. There would eventually be 2 more brothers.
Both Phyllis' parents were born in Nebraska. However, both grandmothers were born out of state. The paternal was from Wisconsin and the maternal was from Illinois.
1934 Moved to California
According to the information in Archie's obituary, the family moved to California in 1934.
The first appearance we have of the family in the city directory is here. A different address, but here is Archie, working as a meat cutter in the city directory.
1938 California New Address
Family is still here, nothing has changed-except they have moved to a different house.
1939 California New Address
A New year, a new you! New address. Nothing else has changed.
1940 Voter Registration of Archie Stalnaker
In 1932, the family pulls up their stakes and moves to San Diego, California. They resided at 4505 Contour Dr., San Diego. Mr. Stalnaker was a registered voter in the San Diego county rolls as a Democrat. His occupation? Meat cutter. The house is absolutely tiny, less than 700 feet with 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. Built that year, it must have been very exciting to move into a new and modern home, albeit small by today's standards.
1940 No Census Found
I have not been able to locate the 1940 census for this family.
Thrown from a horse October 10, 1940
A mention appears in the San Diego Union on October 10, 1940 that Phyllis Stalnaker was thrown from a horse on Euclid Ave. near Auburn St. on October 3rd. In the article, she was improved, but still in serious condition at the county hospital a week later. Could this injury have impacted her for the rest of her life?
1942 Voter Registration Archie Stalnaker
Again, Democrat, same address. Same profession.
This is when Phyllis would later gain internet fame. She would be arrested in San Diego, California under the charges of Weedhead, tramp. Her booking number was #20389. Oh, San Diego. I am sure that it was very serious at the time for you and for her. A 19 year old with serious charges surely would have incurred some "drama" at home, if she was still living with her parents. Wearing a darling herringbone jacket with tailoring, a striped shirt and a bow in her hair, Phyllis sure does not look trampy.
She looks a little pretty with the dark hair, eyebrows and lipstick on. But, to be honest, she looks tired more than anything else. No tiny smile at the corners of her mouth. No twinkle in her eyes. This is the look of "let's just get this over with." Was she waitressing already? Was she in school? No way of knowing. The fact that she was written up as a weedhead, I can deal with that. Ok, she smoked some pot. Whatever. But tramp? Proof that she was not fitting into a mold that someone else tried to push her into. I wish that there was some way that we could know her fate in the courthouse, but the records do not go back that far.
May 15th, 1946
Phyllis J. Stalnaker married a John J. Gordon. This is listed in the California County Birth, Death and Marriage records. Phyllis lists an address in Los Angeles and her occupation as waitress on the marriage license application. Her groom is a couple of years older than her, and he is from New York City. He also resides in Los Angeles.
October 28th, 1946
Archie dies in San Diego and is buried at Mount Hope cemetery. He was only 45 years old.
October 30, 1946
Archie's obituary comes out. Listed are his wife, Mildred, the 3 boys, and then a Mrs. J. J. Gordon, of Hollywood. That would be Phyllis! How she is listed as J.J. is because of her husband's initials being that.
Phyllis is divorced and remarried. This time to her USN husband, James R. Harris. They live on 3601 Crowell in San Diego. They are listed in the 1950 San Diego city directory. I can find no record of the marriage in California.
January 2, 1961
Phyllis dies in the hospital in San Diego at the age of 35. Married and living on Pacific Hwy, her mother lists the same address.
1963-1969 San Diego
Archie is now gone, as is Phyllis and Mrs. Stalnaker is working as a seamstress at Ratners Mfg. and living on Pacific Hwy.
January 18, 2001
Mildred dies at 94. Not listed in her obituary are Phyllis and Archie, her daughter and husband.
Curiously, the burial plots in the cemetery include one of Phyllis' brothers, Phyllis and her mother and father. Neither of the children are buried with their spouses. Mildred's marker is larger than the rest as well. It is strange.
After the arrest, marriage, divorce and second marriage, nothing that Phyllis did ever stands out again. She never had children that I could find, she never registered in the city directories, and she never even registered to vote. It is like the entire episode of being arrested as well as being thrown from a horse really pushed her into not getting into any trouble.
With a wonderful new job, my responsibilities here have gone woefully neglected as I have been learning as much as I could about my job.
Ancestry and 23AndMe have been updating their information on the regular, changing constantly the mix of heritage/ancestry that people have stored within their DNA.
For myself, I have learned of my Paternal heritage and have now turned my face towards that of finding out for certain who my maternal grandfather is. It has turned out to be a very daunting task.
Today, through research of narrowing the field of surnames in my long list, I was able to help a distant cousin (9th cousin to be exact) confirm who his biological father was. It feels great, I am not even going to lie.
However, I am now very determined to learn who the person was that fathered my mother. At this point, I do not expect him or any siblings to be alive, but I am hoping for some distant cousins at least.
I will never forget the day that I stared at the computer screen, looking for there to be a match in Spain, because that would mean that I was my grandfather's child. Alas, that was not the case.
I am so frustrated and wishing that there was a way I could turn the hands of time back and get a DNA test done on a couple of deceased relatives!
Tonight, I spent several hours going through the stacks, making notes as I went. That is when I noticed that one of my aunts and I share a relative that the other maternal aunt and I do not share. I pulled up a comparison and I discovered that we have 70 relatives that are not shared by my other aunt! The relation between me and these relatives is significantly closer than to her. I cross checked myself several times. There is a connection on my maternal side only to this one aunt. (We will call her La). My sister has not tested on this particular site, so I will wait for the Easter sales to pop up and get a test in the mail to her so that I can see if we triangulate at all. If all 3 of us match, and these 70 people still do not match my one aunt, I don't know what this will mean, except that it is a tiny flicker of light to keep me going.
My sister and I had a conversation the other day and she told me that she wished that this were all cut and dried so that we did not have to go through all of this! I could not agree more.
For all of you who are out there, still searching for your lost people, know that you are not alone.
Today is St. Joseph's day if you are Catholic, the patron saint of Family, among other things and I sent a small request to him and St. Anthony to help me find my lost people.
Have a wonderful day and DON'T GIVE UP!
When I was a young adult, one of the jobs that I held was working in a small commercial laundry in New England that did the overflow laundry from a couple of hotels and a few other commercial places. I loved doing laundry, aside from the extremely dry hands that I suffered from the first few weeks.
Many of the laundry tricks that I learned along the way are ones that I still use in my personal laundry to this very day.
Here are my tips and tricks for getting the nicest laundry results.
Recently, I decided to challenge myself this year before Halloween. I kept my challenge private, not wanting to share what I thought was going to happen until my challenge was over.
In the middle of October, there was a lot going on at my work. I was really tired, really stressed and ready to do more that work, come home, go over emails and go to bed.
I challenged myself to not touch the computer again until after Thanksgiving. For work emails, I would use my phone for email access or a work computer. For personal emails, I set up a system where I would get a notification if I got an email from family members.
I will admit that the first few days were weird. I was used to getting up, booting up the laptop and eating breakfast over the desk while I tried to "catch up" with the world before I went to work.
Now, I had a little bit of free time. I was able to sleep in if I wanted, or style my hair differently or do any of a number of small tasks before I went to work.
I still set out my clothes and work items before I went to bed each night. I still did all of my morning things such as take vitamins and an allergy tablet. Now, that I had this extra time, I was not running around our small apartment, making sure that I had everything in order. I knew that I had time.
The next thing I noticed is that I was leaving earlier every morning and not rushing in traffic. Two times, I got into work early enough to get a very nice parking space.
Coming home in the afternoon was strange for the first week. No longer did I turn the computer on and simply sit there, scrolling through Facebook. Now, I was able to use the Amazon Prime feature and read some books that I have been meaning to read. I was able to have long conversations with friends because I was not tired and exhausted. I was able to catch up with friends by talking to them, not reading about them. It was refreshing and I enjoyed it.
After the second week of my laptop not even being turned on, I did not even look at the laptop with interest. I was no longer interested in social media as I had been. I was informed about friends and family. I was caught up on the news. I was happy and more relaxed.
A trip to New York City in the past would have necessitated my laptop coming along. I did not even think about packing it or a small tablet when I was making plans for the day trip. It did not even occur to me until I got home that I could have taken it with me. My son asked the hotel for the wifi password so that he could play a video game on his phone. We used apps to navigate our way around the city, but other than that and a few photos, we did not do any extreme use of technology.
It was interesting to see people with their heads down in their phones, so to speak when we were very in tune with the world around us and our surroundings. Although we had an app to let us know when the next stop was coming up, it was far more interesting to look out the window at the different neighborhoods and pay attention to the names of the stops. It made me think back to my childhood with my sister, when we were responsible for our commute, including getting off at the correct stop.
When my son and I saw the city, we had so much fun. We spoke to my husband that night, telling him of all of the things that we were seeing, and of all of the fun that we were having. When we got off the phone, we went to bed and slept so well, it was awesome how all of the walking we did made us sleep so well! The next morning was very leisurely for both of us. I was able to sleep until after 6 am, and we were able to have a great breakfast at a donut place because we waited until after the rush. The best part, though, was the time that we spent together, talking and interacting because we were not "in our phones", but connected with one another.
Week 3 of the challenge was a little strange. I had to send a personal email to someone that would normally have been a long email. Instead, I sent a brief email, answering all of their questions and signed off. I did not look at any of the emails that were waiting for me. It was not even anything that occurred to me. A phone call from a different friend noted that they had not seen me online in a long while. I explained that I had been really busy with work, but that all was fine. We caught up and I got to hear about their newest grandchild.
My final 2 weeks were really a blur as it was very hectic at work for Thanksgiving. All I could think about was work and sleep, even with no computer in place. My car died and I had to focus on replacing it. The internet was not even a thought as I navigated getting down to see family and driving back up.
I knew yesterday that it was my last day away from the computer. I did not feel sad or happy, I just knew that I needed to do some training at home and that I needed to have a look at the emails still waiting for me.
I turned the computer on this morning and it took longer than usual to boot up. There were several updates and a scan that needed to happen. It took about 10 minutes. I loaded my email and I saw that I had nearly 5,000 emails waiting for me. It was mind boggling to see so many emails.
Looking at all of those untouched emails helped me to make some decisions. When you see emails every day that you are not interested in, it is very easy to simply delete them one at a time, never realizing how long it takes to delete them every single day. I subscribe to a lot of like minded lists, and I was able to create folders to filter those into as well as unsubscribe from a bunch of emails that are no longer relevant to me. Additionally, I was able to update a lot of email contacts with the best email for them to reach me at, making my valuable time used much wiser.
The final thing that being unplugged for so long did is give me a distaste for spending a lot of time on social media. Before, I was content to sit there and scroll through the endless streams of posts and ads and news. Now, I find myself itching to be back in the real world and not in the virtual one.
As Christmas and other winter holidays draw closer, I find myself becoming better at things I always wanted to do. Better at sales and couponing, better at creating budget plans and following them and better at being an active member of my family. I will be posting reviews, genealogy information and DNA information here, and I will be updating much more regularly as I have come up with many more ways to better manage my time. I look forward to all of your input and comments!
I love reviewing new products when they come out. When I fist saw the Secret Freshies, which are the small sphere deodorants sold right now, I was intrigued. The packaging is adorable. Small spheres of product that will fit in the palm of your hand. What is not to love? The fragrances were delightful sounding as well. I chose the Cool Waterlily, in a cute mint ball to bring home with me. It was $4.99 for 0.5 oz.
As soon as I got home, I had to get scissors to free the Secret from the packaging. It is in there really good! It was more expensive than other products, but I was buying into the cuteness factor.
I set it on the counter for the following morning as a part of my get ready for work routine.
The next morning, instead of reaching for my normal product, I reached for the Secret Freshie. I unscrewed the lid and went to apply it, Freshie went flying across the room! The sphere does not have anything to create a grip. Retrieving it from the floor, I looked at it. The amount of product was pretty small. I looked at the bottom and side, there was no place to disperse more product. Literally, what you see is what you get. In the next 2 weeks, I used the Freshie every day. At the end of the 2 weeks, I felt a scratch one morning as I applied the product. I looked down and I had already gotten to the end of the product. The scratch was from the side of the Freshie scraping my underarm. I threw it away and will not be buying another. Not impressed for the price.
I have been making efforts here on the homefront to control spending, save money, and get money back when I can. Between couponing, hitting up sales and doing everything that I can, even though I am working less hours outside of the home, we are still making all of our bills on time.
That is a big change from last year, when we were barely scraping by!
I will be posting some home crafts in the next few weeks about Christmas projects that we will be doing for gifts for family and friends. My total expenditure for the people outside of our direct household is going to be less than 100.00 for more than 20 people. Can we do it? Watch and see!
Back to TopCashback. This is not a sponsored post from them. I was watching YouTube videos on how to save money, and one of the places that everyone talks about is the Dollar Tree. I love the Dollar Tree. It is quick, convenient and easy to get in and out of. For everyday staples. this one is a no brainer.
As I was watching one of the videos, a YouTuber mentioned TopCashback. Then another. Then another. It seemed like a good deal, but then several of these people mentioned that TopCashBack gives a 4 percent rebate at Dollar Tree! Did you just tell me that my savings got even bigger?
Of course, I had to sign up! That is money in the bank. literally. They will literally deposit money into my PayPal account after I do online shopping with over FOUR THOUSAND online retail sites.
I signed up.
I hope that you will use my link and sign up, too!
I like to wear makeup. It conceals flaws and helps to create a look that I like. With that being said, sometimes it can be a hassle to take the time to properly remove makeup. I have resorted to using makeup remover wipes and even baby wipes. It is very rare that I will sleep in my makeup, I try to avoid that at all costs.
With that being said, there are a few makeup removal techniques that I find myself getting the best results with. The upside is that your skin will thank you if you take the time to cleanse your face properly. The downside is that it will take about five minutes of your life. (Gasp!)
Use proper tools.
I use a makeup remover and a brush. I wet my face, drop a pea sized dollop onto the brush head and get to work.
The brush that I am currently using cost me less than $10.00. It runs on a couple of AA batteries. Yes, I am aware that there are brushes out there that do a lot more things, and cost a lot more money. I need my brush to break down and remove my makeup. Nothing more, nothing less. It does a perfectly adequate job of that.
After I have wet my face, I remove the makeup by moving the brush over my entire face except for my eye area.
When I am through, I thoroughly rinse with warm water and cleanse the eye area separately using Micellar water. I then add a moisturizer and call it done. The result is that in the 2 months I have been doing this, my skin looks much healthier.
Autumn is a lovely time of year. The cooler weather for parts of the world that experience very hot summers is a welcome relief. The rains that serve to cool the earth are also a relief, even driving in the rain is a blessing.
I recently had the opportunity to do a themed board for our break room where I work, and it was there that I had the chance to play with some really fun color combinations. I found the choices to be inspirational for home decor as well.
Here are the combinations that I did.
Orange, copper and pink. A tribute to the beautiful colors of fall as well as acknowledging the research for Breast Cancer.
Adding pink to the mix made me find different places where pink was hidden in the traditional fall palette! Let me tell you, it is everywhere. Most turning leaves have splashes of pink in them. Pumpkins can have a pink cast in the right light. Additionally, by adding copper, which is a natural for fall, I was able to easily incorporate this year's white hot color for the year, rose gold.
I will be adding some photos this week of the elements that I chose. Wait until you see how these colors together work so well for fall, and with a few small tweaks, they will work for November, too!
Share photos of your Fall/Autumn and Halloween decor. I can't wait to see it!
Grandpa's Pot of Gravy
Grandpa was not a kitchen guy. He was not in there cooking. He was not in there making sandwiches. He was just not that type of person.
My uncle Billy got the flu that was going around. He laid in his bed, sick as could be except for going to the bathroom. Dr. Phipps came out and examined him.
(Dr. Phipps had me convinced that he delivered Jesus because he was so old.)
"It's the flu, for sure, like half the people I am seeing." He sighed, washing his hands in the very bathroom sink that I washed in.
Grandma handed him a towel and waited for the news of what to do.
"Food and drink if he is hungry. Don't force it. If he gets an appetite, keep it light."
Dr. Phipps asked to see all of us while he was already there to avoid traveling the highway after dark. Grandma got him set up in her bedroom.
When it was my turn, I brought my doll with me, because she might be sick, too. We were both told that we had the flu. My poor ragdoll, Neva. I was told that she needed bedrest and I had to make sure that she was in bed by setting a good example. I protested, saying how fine I felt, but Dr. Phipps made me a promise. If I got hot and steamy baths when asked to, ate and drank what was asked of me, the next time he saw me, if I got well, we would draw a picture together. I could barely contain my excitement. I took off my day clothes and set me and Neva down with night clothes. Vicks was rubbed on my chest, and Neva got the Vicks on a cloth.
The next few days were misery and sleep. My poor grandparents with all of their children, and then my coming along, making them grandparents when they were still raising children. Poor them!
I woke up one morning to the smell of warm biscuits and gravy. Coffee was made. It smelled good. I fell back asleep to the smell, so comforting and wonderful. I pulled the heavy quilt back over me and my baby doll and drifted right off.
I woke up to my shoulder being shaken gently. "Wanna plate of biscuits?" Grandpa asked, holding them under my nose and waving them gently around.
"No. I wanna sleep." I said, not wanting food.
"Baby, Doc says you gotta eat something. You little lips are chapped. Your little eyes are sunk. Please eat a little for Grandpa. I even made the gravy you like."
Even Grandpa's gravy? Was I crazy? He made the best brown gravy for biscuits known to man.
I nodded my head and he broke off a piece of biscuit and put it in my mouth.
A glass of juice was brought to him, and in the hallway, I heard someone say "He got her to eat a little!" Apparently, I had been refusing food.
It took a while, but he got all of those 4 biscuits into me. Never pushing, never yelling, just gently loving me to eat. I drank the juice and he carried me to the bathroom and back, keeping my feet from touching the floor.
Every meal after that, Grandpa would bring in a food tray for he and I. He would take a bite, then offer me a bite until it was gone, then carry me to the bathroom. It was a lot of work, I am sure, but he never complained.
When Dr. Phipps came to see all of us a few days later, I was still in bed, too tired to do anything and still miserable.
Dr. Phipps told me that I had to eat, and I had to get better. He said that tomorrow, I was to eat at the table, and go outside and sit on the porch in the swing for a while.
The following day, I did as was asked, and fell asleep outside on the swing. Grandpa called Dr. Phipps and explained that I was not getting any better, in fact, everyone else was better, and now I seemed to be worse. Dr. Phipps told Grandpa that I better be taken to the hospital in case it was something serious.
We got to the hospital and I was put in a wheelchair. I fell asleep in the wheelchair. I was placed on a stretcher when the doctor examined me.
"Strep and Mono" is what came back from the tests. I was put in the hospital for a few days, and Dr. Phipps came to see me.
I don't remember this, but my Aunt said that I flew into hysterics when he entered the room, because I had not gotten well, so we could not draw a picture together.
"I tried, Dr. Phipps, I tried!" Is what I have been told I said over and over again.
By the time I was discharged, I had over 20 drawings by me and that country doctor, now gone on to his reward in heaven.
When the doctors came in to my room to talk to me and my family, they asked me if I knew what made me better, getting ready to tell me about the antibiotics that I still would take at home. I beamed a huge smile and said "Grandpa's Pot of Gravy!"
I write a lot about genetic genealogy, family trees, DNA, and home life as well as the occasional product review. Comments? Email me at CocktailsAndSwagger@Hotmail.com