COCKTAILS AND SWAGGER.
  • Ramblings and Recipes
  • Family History Like Never Before
  • We Sailed Aboard the Mayflower
  • Family Tree DNA
  • Reviews
  • Lucky Bastard
  • Family Investigator

Ramblings and Recipes

Easiest chocolate bark or dinner mints you will ever make

9/28/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture

This recipe is actually an accident. An accident that is delicious. An accident that runs around in your mouth, saying "Hello! I am amazing. Have another bite!"
Here we go. Part One. 
The ingredients you need: 
1 bag of semi sweet or unsweetened chocolate chips. A minimum of 24 ounces. (You are going to end up making a few batches!)
2 hen egg sized hunks of marshmallow fondant. (No, I don't care which size. I guess the huge hen egg.) 
Candy Flavoring of your choice, whether extract or candy flavoring oil. Choose a delicious flavor you really love, though. Because chocolate! I chose Pumpkin Spice. 

The tools that you need:
1 plastic bowl. 
1 wooden spoon
1 microwave. 
One paper plate. 
One freezer. 
One rolling pin. 
One cutting board. 

Here we go! Part Two. 
Pour in about a cup of the chips onto the microwave safe plastic bowl. I burned a hole through one of these like an idiot by super heating the chocolate. I would have taken photos, but no need to record that moment in history, now is there? 
Anyway, pour in about a cup of the chips and microwave for a minute. Take them out and stir. The chips should be about the consistency of cake frosting. Not cake frosting yet? Place the bowl back in the microwave for another 30 seconds and stir again when they come out. They should be really close at this point. If they are still not like cake frosting, another 15 seconds will have you there. Don't overcook the chocolate. It smells so gross and your house will smell like dead chocolate. No one likes the smell of dead chocolate. It is the smell of angels weeping. Don't do that to yourself and to your family. Watch the microwave. 
When you finally get to the point where it spreads like frosting, spoon it out onto the paper plate. go all the way to the lower edge with this, not the edge of the plate or you will be cleaning melted chocolate off everything. Put this in the freezer. If your freezer is stinky, cover it or this will stink like your freezer. Be safe. Save the chocolate. 
Now. While the chocolate is chilling out, get that marshmallow fondant. Yum, yum, yum. Pick a candy oil flavor or an extract. I went with Pumpkin Pie spice because YUM. Roll the fondant into a ball shape.  When it is about body temperature, you are done rolling into a ball shape with your hands. Press your finger in the fondant to the first knuckle. 
Here is where the ingredients vary a little bit: 
If you use the extract, which comes in a super small bottle, don't use more than 6 drops per egg shaped dollop or else it won't stick to the chocolate and it will look ugly. People will call out your name as the person who ruined the chocolate. Don't do that to yourself. If you are using the extract, it comes in a larger bottle. Pour in half as deep as the hole you made in the fondant. Pour slowly. Don't mess this up. Too much flavor is going to mess up the mix that you are creating for people's palates. 
Knead the fondant with your hands. Some of the flavoring will get onto your hands. Ignore it and keep kneading for at least one minute, folding the dough flat and then smashing it with your hand over and over. 
When your fondant dough is like warm taffy, pulling into elongated teardrop shapes, mash it together into a ball again and roll it out thin. It should be about the thickness of 2 credit cards put together. (Such amazing technical terms. Why didn't I become a recipe writer?) If there are wrinkles in your fondant, that is fine. Don't sweat that. It will be beautiful.
Make sure that there are no holes in the fondant where you can see the surface below it. It should be rolled out slightly larger than the plate or even the cookie sheet if you were feeling ambitious that your melted chocolate was spread out on. 
Remove the chilled chocolate. It doesn't matter if it is completely set or not. Lift the fondant onto the plate or cookie sheet. Place it over it and take either a knife or scissors and cut out the outline of the plate or cookie sheet. If your fondant tears when you are setting it in place, don't worry. That leftover fondant? Patching material. Fill in the gaps or holes with the extra fondant. Overlap a bit? Does not matter. Chocolate showing through the holes? Who cares? Cover it with your patch fondant. You don't even have to press the 2 pieces of fondant together. Drop some fondant on any gaps and move on. You are making magic here. Now, guess what? Here is where some more magic is going to happen. 
With your finger or the handle of the wooden spoon, gently push down in random places to lock the fondant into a marriage with the chocolate. Don't press too hard or you will pierce the fondant. If you do pierce it, repair it with the fondant you have left over. Seriously, don't stress this stuff.
Use the same bowl that you melted the first chocolate chips in, and melt about the same amount as the first, with the same instructions. Don't burn the chips! When it reaches a frosting consistency, add the same amount of flavoring that you added to the fondant to this part of the chocolate. It does not have to be the same flavor as long as it is complementary. Go wild. Have a good time. Don't over flavor. You already have a flavor punch happening here. 
Now spread this over the top of the fondant using the back of a spoon to make beautiful texture designs. I made swirls by making circles over and over. Make sure you completely cover the fondant so that no fondant shows. Place this in the freezer for at least 10 minutes. Clean the dishes you just dirtied and wash your hands and face of all of the places that the chocolate made it to. Wipe down the counters. Sweep the floor. Now, take out the little tempter. Shake some sea salt into your hand, not directly onto the chocolate. (I use coarse grind sea salt or Himalayan coarse grind)
Sprinkle this over the top of the chocolate. Place it back in the freezer for at least 30 minutes. Done. Just like that. You are a miracle worker. 
It is gorgeous. Like magazine with recipes in it gorgeous. You can tint the fondant if you want a pop of color, I did not, but, hey, maybe you want a pop of color. Next time I make mine, I will be doing that. 
So when these come out of the freezer, break them into smaller pieces either by hand or whack them with something like a hammer or a wrench. I broke mine by hand. Where the corners are, it will be thicker. Look at the gorgeous shapes of curls and swirls. You made that! Cooking genius! 
 

0 Comments
    View my profile on LinkedIn

    About Dixie

    I write a lot about genetic genealogy, family trees, DNA, and home life as well as the occasional product review. Comments? Email me at CocktailsAndSwagger@Hotmail.com

    Categories

    All
    1767
    2018
    23AndMe
    ADNA
    Adopted
    Adoptees
    Adoption
    Adoption Agency
    American Ancestors
    American Heart Association
    Ancestry
    April 25th
    Arrangements
    Attorney
    Autosomal DNA
    Autumn
    Awards
    Bad Research
    Bible
    Bipolar Disorder
    Birth Family
    Birth Parent
    Birthparent Rights
    Biscuits
    Black
    Black Sheep
    Book
    Book Review
    Breast Cancer
    Burial
    Business Cards
    Caldwell Parish
    Caleb Wilde
    Call List
    Captain Samuel Hannah
    Carol Schaefer
    Castle Garden
    Catholic
    Census
    Challenge
    Charity
    Checklist
    Chickens
    Childhood
    Chocolate Bark
    Chores
    Christian Records
    Class Ring
    Clothing
    Clues
    Coffin Ship
    Colored
    Comedian
    Committees
    Computer
    Confessions Of A Funeral Director
    Contact
    Contest
    Copper
    Corrections
    Cosmetic Tools
    Country Life
    Coupons
    Courtship
    Crafts
    Crayons
    Dad
    Database
    Databases
    Dates
    Death
    Dementia
    Deodorant
    Depression
    Dessert
    Detective
    Detergent
    Dinner Mints
    Discovery Of DNA Double Helix
    DNA
    DNA Day
    DNA Double Helix
    DNA.Land
    DNA Testing
    DNA Test Kit
    Documents
    Dollar Tree
    Draft Registration Card
    Driver's License
    Easter
    EBook
    Ellis Island
    Email
    Emails
    Emergency
    Emigration
    Errors
    Fabric Softener
    Facebook
    Facilitator
    Fall
    Family
    Family Census
    FamilySearch.org
    Family Stories
    Family Tree
    Family Tree DNA
    Famine
    Fathers
    Father's Day
    Find A Grave
    Flight Attendant
    Flowers
    Food
    Free
    Fund Raiser
    Funeral
    Funeral Home
    GEDCOM
    GEDMatch
    Genealogy
    Genelogy
    GenesForGood
    Google
    Government Records
    Grandparents
    Groups
    Guide
    Halloween
    Headstone
    High School Reunion
    History
    Honor
    Hoops For Heart
    Horses
    Human Genome Project
    Hurricane Harvey
    Hymnals
    Immigration
    Independence Day
    Infographics
    Internet
    Ireland
    Isobel Moore
    Jewelry
    July 4th
    Jump Rope For Heart
    Last Words
    Laundry
    Letter
    Library
    Lies
    LinkedIn
    Live-stream
    Louisiana
    Major Depressive Disorder
    Makeup
    March 25th
    March 26
    Marriage
    Marriage License
    Media
    Medical History
    Medicine
    Mementos
    Memories
    MIcellar Water
    Military
    Moore Family
    National Crayon Day
    National DNA Day
    National Medal Of Honor Day
    Negro
    Obituaries
    Old Man Draft
    Online Research Sites
    Online Tools
    Orange
    Organization
    Original Birth Certificate
    Paper Trail
    Paternity
    Photographs
    Photos
    Piano
    Pink
    Prison
    Prison Records
    Product Review
    Property
    Protestant Bounty Ship
    Questions
    Rebates
    Recipe
    Records
    Removal
    Research
    Reunion
    Review
    Romance
    Saint Anthony
    Sam Kinison
    School
    School Project
    Science
    Search
    Searching
    Secrets
    Sex Offender Registry
    Ship Nancy
    Siblings
    Sickness
    Skeletons
    Social Media
    Social Security
    Spinach
    Spit Kit
    Spring Cleaning
    Study
    Technology
    Test
    Texas
    Thanksgiving
    Time Management
    Tools
    TopCashback
    Trading Card
    Tribute
    Twile
    Uniforms
    United States
    Unplugged
    Us Armed Forces
    Username
    Valentine's Day
    Veteran
    Veterans
    Videos
    Vietnam
    Vietnam War
    Washing
    Water
    WDYTYA
    Wedding
    Wedding Ring
    Who Do You Think You Are?
    William Moore
    Wing Tips
    Women's Sexuality
    WWII
    Yearbook
    Yearbooks
    YouTube

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016

    RSS Feed

Contact Us

    Subscribe Today!

Submit
  • Ramblings and Recipes
  • Family History Like Never Before
  • We Sailed Aboard the Mayflower
  • Family Tree DNA
  • Reviews
  • Lucky Bastard
  • Family Investigator